Separation: what needs to be done now?
One thing at a time. Even now.
A separation raises many questions at once. Here you can see what should be sorted out first – for you and, if there are children, for the children.
Answer a few short questions. The list adapts and shows typical steps for your situation.
Good to know: the official websites linked here are mostly in German. German terms are shown in brackets so you can find them there.
Your personal plan
Guidance only, not legal or tax advice.
Your progress is saved only on this device, not with us.
Your deadlines at a glance
Enter the date above to see calculable guide dates here. Deadlines with an individual starting point are shown without a fixed date.
- New tax classes applyResponsible office: tax office (Finanzamt)from 1 January after the separation
- Year of separation endsResponsible office: family court or lawyerdivorce is usually possible after one year of separation
Deadlines can differ in individual cases, for example because of contracts, state law or special circumstances. Calculated dates are guide dates; what counts is the information from the responsible office. This overview helps you put the next steps in order. Depending on your situation, further urgent tasks may come up.
Step by step
- 1
In the first days
Take a breath. Many decisions do not have to be made straight away. In case of violence, threats or acute danger, please get help immediately.
A separation is an exceptional situation. People you trust, advice centres and the telephone counselling service (TelefonSeelsorge) can help.
With a joint account, each of you can often make transactions alone. Clarify what will happen to the account and revoke any powers of attorney you no longer want.
What do I say on the phone?
Say this in German:
„Ich lebe von meinem Partner getrennt. Können Sie mir sagen, welche gemeinsamen Konten und Vollmachten es gibt und was ich tun muss, um eine Vollmacht zu widerrufen?“
What it means:
“I have separated from my partner. Can you tell me which joint accounts and powers of attorney there are, and what I need to do to revoke a power of attorney?”
Copies of bank statements, contracts, tax assessments, land register extracts and insurance policies. This helps later with maintenance and financial questions.
- 2
In the first weeks
Children, home, money: the urgent things first.
Where will the children live, and when will they see the other parent? The youth welfare office (Jugendamt) advises both parents free of charge on custody and contact. There is a free, state-funded app for coordinating arrangements.
If the child lives mainly with one parent, that parent usually receives the child benefit. If the child lives roughly equally with both, the parents decide together who receives it. Changes must be reported to the family benefits office (Familienkasse).
The parent the child does not live with usually pays maintenance. If they do not pay, the youth welfare office helps with an advance maintenance payment (Unterhaltsvorschuss).
If you both signed the tenancy agreement, you both remain liable for the rent, even after one of you moves out. This can only be changed together with the landlord.
If you move into a new home, register at the citizens’ office (Bürgeramt) within two weeks of moving in.
- 3
In the first months
Reorganise maintenance, taxes and contracts.
If one partner earns considerably less, they can claim maintenance during the separation. Legal advice is worthwhile here.
In the year of separation, joint assessment is often still possible. You should inform the tax office without delay that you are permanently living apart; from the following calendar year, the corresponding new tax classes generally apply.
Liability, household contents, car, mobile phone, streaming: who is the contract holder, who pays? Spouses covered by family health insurance remain insured until the divorce.
A spouse usually remains entitled to inherit until the divorce. Check your will, the beneficiaries of insurance policies and any powers of attorney.
- 4
If it comes to divorce
What the court decides and what you should know.
As a rule, a marriage can only be dissolved after one year of separation. Living apart is also possible in the same home if you strictly keep your households separate.
A lawyer files the petition at the family court. If you both agree, one lawyer for the petition is often enough.
In divorce proceedings, the family court usually carries out the pension rights adjustment (Versorgungsausgleich) and divides the pension rights acquired during the marriage. There are exceptions, for example for very short marriages, where it only takes place on application, or if the spouses have validly excluded it.
This website offers general information and guidance for typical life situations. The checklist created from your answers is not a complete or binding review of your individual situation. Further obligations and deadlines may apply. Please clarify important legal questions and deadlines with the responsible offices. This service does not replace individual legal, tax or medical advice.